Batter Blaster – Wrong for America

Ok, the title is a tad hyperbolic, but when I saw this in Costco a few months ago a tiny rage welled inside. We were shopping on a Saturday when we came across Batter Blaster. The spiel was along the lines of how much easier breakfast would be with pancakes from a can.

Breakfast from a Can? WTF!

At first, I honestly thought it was a joke, but I was compelled to stop and pick up the can and watch our demo maven squirt batter out of a can onto the griddle. I did try one, and it tasted OK, but nothing better than what I make for the kids on weekends. That’s when the whole thing really started to bother me.

Ridiculously High Cost!

I doubt one can could hold its own against my two boys. And the three pack can was something like $7.00 (please comment if you know the real price). Geeze Louise that is expensive. According to the label each can will make 28 – 4in. pancakes. I have some pretty serious doubts about that claim. Those must be some darn thin pancakes.

By their own admission, there is only 2.25 cups of batter in each can. When I make pancakes, I use a ladle that is 6oz. which I reckon results in 4oz. per pancake. And each of my boys will eat 3 to 4 of those suckers, without batting an eye. That comes out to ONE CAN per child. And my kids are not the video game, boob tube species either. In fact both are a tad on the skinny side.

Could You Be More Environmentally Unfriendly or What?

Don’t prattle on to me about how steel cans are recyclable. The amount of energy to produce and recycle those cans, the extra weight of shipping, the added shelf space, not to mention that you must keep it refrigerated are all energy wastes. And completely unnecessary.

My pancakes come in paper bags… um, flour, pinch of baking soda and baking powder, maybe some buttermilk if I have it around, , dash of salt, and an egg or two. Not much to recycle there. Even if you go the pancake mix route, all you have is one small box or plastic (recyclable) bag. Even better, Elise has a great recipe for Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes over at Simply Recipes. Yum.

All that steel in the name of convenience is a shameful waste.

Are People Really That Lazy?

That was probably my first thought. Have people become so darn lazy that can’t mix a little water with some batter mix and make semi-homemade pancakes? I hope not. For crying in a bucket, how hard is it to mix up a little batter!

If you poke around on the blaster site, they have so-called testimonials from overly exuberant customers espousing how much time Batter Blaster has saved them and how convenient it was. All I can picture is one of those self-absorbed parents, squirting goo out of a can, while yapping on their cell phone, kids with permanent carpel tunnel jamming out on their NDS,  while cooking some pancakes. Woot, ain’t multi-tasking great. America, we sure have come a long way baby.

Let me put a better vision in your mind… you take a box of Krusteaz Pancake & Waffle Mix out of your cupboard, let your son or daughter measure out a couple of cups of mix, show them how to calculate the appropriate amount of water to add, topping it off with a short mixing lesson. You just made something together, and they enjoyed spending time with you, and they will enjoy cooking because they actually did something useful.

Wow, educating your kids about cooking and math all while you develop a real relationship with your kids FTW! Flipping amazing.

BTW, they sell the Krusteaz mix in big bags at Costco for around the same price as the blasters. I can only guess the hundreds of pancakes you can make with that bag, plus you’ll forgo chucking enough steel to build a Yugo.

Please, Please, Please…

Don’t by this product. It exists for only the wrong reasons. Do what is better for your wallet, your planet, and your family by exercising your brain and hands. Trust me, your kids will like you better for it.

If you have a favorite pancake or waffle recipe, please add it in the comments below.

I feel better now℠

Posted in Peeves.

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